I went to my hometown when I was about 2 years into my recovery to do a thorough and honest step 9 with as many people as I harmed, which actually was not that many. Met with some of my past friends who I drank with but was not the same. Left my hometown with depressed feeling. Half way through the 12 hour drive I thought to myself do I really want the same relationship I used to have with them because that would mean I would be drinking? Then I thought ‘no’ I would not want it to be the same so that is when I realized I had to grieve the loss of my addiction.
The cycle of addiction includes a downward spiral of hopelessness and despair. This begins by having an overall desire of happiness, joy and freedom.